how does one handle mortality issues?

i just found out that my granduncle has cancer
he’s in stage 4 and is currently undergoing treatment
i find myself (much to my dismay) nonchalant about it
probably ‘detached’ is a better word
i’ve noticed that over the years
this has been my reaction to such news

i’ve been wondering why i’ve been so ‘cold’
is it because my own dad passed away when i was merely 12 years old?
it is quite a tender age
was the impact so bad that i no longer have the ability to feel or at least appear more sympathetic?

i wish i knew.

year of the rat 2008

i dont know about u
but like most females
i abhor rats

rats..mice..basically rodents
they are disgusting
they are scavengers
they carry diseases
whilst we say, “thank goodness, there are mice to experiment with for scientific developments”
it also shows just how dispensable they are

for this chinese new year (where i’m from, at least)
the rat has been given a new image
instead of the typical rat images
they’ve resorted to use ‘mickey mouse’
that’s retail for u at its best *lol*

so if we supposedly bear the traits of the animal year we are born in
i just have this to say, “thank goodness that it aint my year”
*ugh*